And now August is officially half-way over. Already! Where is 2019 going?!? Well, happy Friday!
Years and years and years ago, I purchased a little book from Barnes & Noble. I no longer have a copy of it, but may need to purchase it again. It changed my life. Well, it changed my perspective on my life.
And I forgot alllllll about it, until I went scouring the internet for today’s quote:
I think I’m gonna go hit a used bookstore online and pick up a copy right now. What other nuggets of perspective-changing wisdom have I forgotten? Have you read the book and do you have a favorite blurb? Share it in the comments below.
Another week has blown by and I find myself mentally wiped from an emotional week.
Unable to find an inspiring quote on my own, I enlisted the help of a friend I’ve yet to meet: Holly. We “met” over Yelp reviews of our favorite sandwich company here in San Diego. My favorite is the Charlie’s Special and hers is the simple, tried and true Ham & Cheese sandwich. We message a few times a month and she’s wonderful and always makes me smile.
So, I asked if she had a favorite and she has given me this one to share with you you today:
“If you find yourself constantly trying to prove your worth to someone, you have already forgotten your value.” ~Unknown
Thank you, Holly.
This jettisoned me right back to a time in my life where I was wrapped up in an abusive relationship with a man who constantly accused me of cheating on him, always called me “whore” when he was angry, and went so far as choking me when we woke up one morning (on my birthday) because he dreamt I had an affair. And he only liked brand-name clothing, which I hated. But, to please him, I purchased myself (and him) brand name clothes. And went so far as to wear bras on the weekends because he hated my boobs bouncing for the world to see. I completely changed who I was, but convinced myself life was happier because I was with him. I wasn’t. And after about six months of dating, I left him simply because he called me whore one more time. And I slowly regained my confidence, self-worth, and sense of “me” again.
Whenever my cousin, Aaron, gives me a hug he whispers into my ear, “You be good to you.” Typing it doesn’t give it justice: his tone, inflection, and cadence give it so much more life and depth. But may we never forget it.
So, never change who you are for someone. Never feel like you must constantly prove yourself. Just be. And if YOU are not enough to please someone, move on. Never lose yourself.
They say laughter is the best medicine, but it’s not. Not for me. Hugs truly are. Good, long, warm, 100% legit hugs. Maybe that’s why I love Burning Man so much: endless, amazing hugs from so many strangers. Unencumbered, uninhibited, pure loving hugs.
And the long talk last night really made me feel better about so many things, too.
What lifts your spirits in times of darkness? Drop a comment below.
Blogs I Updated This Week:
Endometriosis & the Appendix: added two studies from July 2019 of women who had various symptoms and discovered during after their surgeries that they had Endometriosis on their appendix.
What Does Endometriosis Pain Feel Like: I added more entries from EndoWarriors describing what Endometriosis feels like to them. Would you like to share yours? Go ahead! There’s an entry form on the blog entry.
And suddenly, just like that, it’s Friday already!
Today’s quote is for my fellow Warriors. This one, right here, is for YOU:
“Even in times of trauma, we try to maintain a sense of normality until we no longer can. That, my friends, is called surviving. Not healing. We never become whole again … we are survivors. If you are here today… you are a survivor. But those of us who have made it thru hell and are still standing? We bare a different name: warriors.”
― Lori Goodwin
Remember how strong you are. How far you’ve come. How much you’ve endured. But, most importantly, understand that you are flanked by your fellow Warriors, standing side by side, hand in hand. You are not alone in this fight.
Maintain strength, even in the scary moments. And, if you need it, reach out for the Warrior beside you. ❤
Blogs I Updated This Week:
Bladder & Endometriosis: added a 2019 study of a woman who complained of menstrual cramps, painful urination, and an inability to hold her pee in. Guess where they found Endo? Yep, I know it’s rare, but it happens.
Endometriosis & the Bowel: added a 2019 study of a 35-year-old woman who had complaints of abdominal pain, bloating, constipation, and cyclical rectal bleeding. They thought she had a possible carcinoma inside her guts, but it turned out to be (you guessed it), Endometriosis.
Endometriosis & the Lungs: added a 2019 study of a 37-year-old woman who ended up having Endometriosis inside her lungs along the pleura lining. Her surgeons were able to successfully excise the lesions and she was sypmtom-free nearly three years later.
A good friend of mine announced the other day that she was planning on giving up all meat and dairy for the next 30 days. You don’t have to have Endo to give up these things and feel the benefits!
I hopped on her bandwagon. I mean, I’d previously given up *most* red meat and dairy…but I have my weaknesses with bison, bacon, pork, cheeeeeeeeese, whipped cream, butter…
We are on Day Three today. and I must say it’s been fun. Hard, but fun.
Day One was a doozy: some of my EndoSisters and I went to dinner at a local favorite: Buckboard’s BBQ. Meat. And Cheese. My usual: pork belly sliders and a side of some of the best mac&cheese you’ll ever taste. I resisted and opted instead for the veggie burger. And oh, man, I’ve never been offered so many mac&cheese balls in my life. And I have chicken, fish, corndogs, fishsticks, and pork chops in the freezer just begging to be eaten. I’m not even gonna talk about the bacon…
It’s also led me to do a bunch of research on how to make sure I get adequate protein, especially since my body still can’t process beans, and I avoid soy like it’s death. A challenge, but totally do-able.
And it’s been fun sharing our meals with each other and discussing creative ways that we’ve avoided meat and dairy. Oh the discoveries! Endo or no Endo, these are two good things to try to give up and see how your body handles the change
27 days to go; we can do this! Which leads to today’s quote:
“Embrace each challenge in your life as an opportunity for self-transformation.”
― Bernie Siegel
What about you? What challenges are you facing? You CAN do it, too. Whatever it may be. And you most certainly are not facing them alone. We’re all right here with you.
As is my customary Friday morning tradition, I found myself back at my favorite bagel place for my breakfast and an almond milk hot chocolate. As I waited for my wares, I noticed a woman waiting in line eyeballing the front of my shirt.
If you haven’t seen the front, it’s a wonderful design, created by a friend, representing my insides after my Endo surgeries. Ha.
Once she paid for her bagels, she walked right up to me with a big smile.
“I was standing in line reading the back of your shirt,” she said. “So then I had to try to read the front of your shirt to see what it is.”
“Oh?” I prodded.
“You’ve had quite the ride,” she said, with a li’l bit of sadness in her voice.
“It sure has been.”
“I’m familiar with the disease…” she said, leaving it open-ended.
Familiar? Did she have it? Does her daughter??? She looked to be in her sixties. “Are you?” I prodded further. “Do you have it?”
“No,” she smiled, “but I’m an OB nurse.”
We talked for a little while longer while we both waited for our bagel sandwiches and beverages. She seemed surprised at how extensive it could be, how entwined it can get, and how often my surgeries were warranted. I let her know that my pain levels were in a good place since my last one. She placed a warm hand on my shoulder, “I hope it stays that way.” And we said our goodbyes.
Such a wonderful way to start a Friday. And now? On to today’s Feel Good Friday’s quote:
“Finding healthy coping mechanisms are as essential as breathing fresh air
Find what works for you.
Do it with zest and fervor
― Renee A. Lee
For me, striking up conversations, spreading awareness about Endo, and making connections is a huge part of my coping mechanism and self-administered therapy. That being said, I know it’s not for everyone. What helps you cope? Let me know in the comments below!
I hope you have a wonderful weekend.
Blogs I Updated This Week:
Endo & Liver Function: added a 2019 study of a 42-year-old woman who complained of right quadrant pain, vomiting, and nausea. Turns out she had the super-rare Endo on the liver!
Earlier this week I was in a little Facebook chat bubble with one of my local EndoWarriors, Heidi. Heidi has been a HUGE part of my life since we came together and she’s a very active member of our Bloomin’ Uterus San Diego support network. She also hosts supoprt group meetings and events at her house, finds time to run our Instagram account, and is such a strong source of strength and encouragement to our Sisters! Thanks Heidi! FOR EVERYTHING!
I’ve been relishing the mostly pain-free life since my November surgery. And every little tiny prick of pain sends me deep into a “Oh no, is it coming back already?” thought process. The poor April ultrasound results don’t help and I’m eagerly awaiting the July follow-up ultrasound.
But, I ran to Heidi and we had a little conversation yesterday during a moment of doubt. Heidi has had some glorious results from pain management and physical therapy and I figured she may very know the fear I was feeling:
See? SUPPORTIVE! Heidi is amazing. And, she’s right: WE GOT THIS AND WE’RE BEASTS!
But yesterday’s moment has led to today’s quote search. It captures the fear I have. It gives it a visual that many people can relate to; a fear that gnaws at the fiber of their being. I suffer from a painful chronic illness, and although I’m in a wonderful position right now, I still have these fears:
“That’s the point. This healthy-feeling time now just feels like a tease. Like I’m in this holding pattern, flying in smooth circles within sight of the airport, in super-comfortable first class. But I can’t enjoy the in-flight movie or free chocolate chip cookies because I know that before the airport is able to make room for us, the plane is going to run out of fuel, and we’re going to crash-land into a fiery, agonizing death.” ― Jessica Verdi, My Life After Now
Okay, so it might be a little dramatic…but it really captured how I feel about this relentless disease. Endometriosis.
I have my Sisters, my Warriors, my Family to get me through these moments. I’ll enjoy the in-flight movie and complimentary cookies. I’ve embraced having my nights and weekends back to enjoy. And maybe…just maybe…I can acknowledge these fears when they bubble to the surface and let them go.