Do you have a bowel surgery coming up? Maybe just a colonoscopy? Or something else to do with your guts?
Either way, you likely have to endure a bowel prep: drink some nastiness and spend the next few hours glued to the toilet.
I had my bowel resection in November of 2018 and had no idea what I was in for with Suprep Bowel Prep Kit. And now I have my very first colonoscopy on calendar for November 8, 2019 (just to check and make sure everything is decent and runnin’ smoothly in there). I was also told I’d be enduring the same bowel prep! Yay! Yay? Just kidding.
So I got home and scrambled for my notes from last November. Just how bad was the experience before? I had been messaging a friend of mine who kept me company during the ordeal. And rather than just read them while laughing and get a sense of what to expect in a few weeks, I thought I’d share them.
I mean, who knows – you may very well have ended up on this page because you, too, were searching for “what happens in a bowel prep?” Brace yourself…my notes are coming! And if you make it all the way to the bottom (there’s a pun in there somewhere), I’ll list a few tips and tricks I picked up along the way to make this process a little more bearable.
Shortly after 4:15pm, on November 25, 2018, I downed my first round of Suprep. The second dose was at 10:00pm. Following are my notes (aka, texts to my friend):
Prior to the poop-fest, I weighed myself right before drinking Suprep: 169.5 pounds. I was curious how much poo and water weight I would lose after it was all over. Stay tuned!
Drank first round of Suprep
OMFG that’s the most amazing torrential downpour of liquid shit I’ve ever experienced!!!!! 35 minutes after consumption and round 1 of ?? is done!
I’m still pooping…confirmed: no visible plunger in this bathroom lol
Round 2 !!!!!
Ooooomgggg round 3. I didn’t even have to leave the toilet from round 2! Just when I was about to wipe: nope. Seriously amazing pooping!!! Like a high pressure water hose!
Round 4!
….round five….literally as I’m wiping my ass with a baby wipe. HAAAAHAAAHAAAAAAAAA caught me by surprise. ALMOST CLEAR!
Round 6 and 7! 7 was far more violent. I wish I could describe the sensation of pressure washing the inside of the toilet with my butt juice!
Round 8 done. I’m not even gonna wipe anymore. Just sit here. It’s like ..what…30-45 seconds between pooping? Pooping isn’t even a fitting description anymore. I AM getting up for most times. Barely made it back in time for round 9. I think I’ll sit here til round 10
There goes round 10! It’s amazing ’cause they’re all like the same amount of liquid poo. Like there’s a measuring system in my intestines and a shutoff valve, a pressure build up, and RELEASE! …This bathroom is fucking freezing
Round 11!! IT’S AMAZING! No cramps or anything. Just a sudden urge to spew water from me bum
Almost didn’t pull my pants down in time for round 12! I think I better live here for a minute or two
Round 13!!!
Where the heck is round 14?
There’s 14! …Oooh mum brought me her fuzzy blanket! I’m warm!!! And my asshole is killing me LOL! Vaseline and all. Omg.
The question was posed, “What if your mom has to go?” – referring to the one-bathroom AirBNB suite we shared for the evening. My response? “She’s screwed!”
Round 15 took a while haha
Omfg. Round 16 made up for 15’s delay!
I’m waiting for 17…There it is! I knew it was comin’!
Jim says hi. Oh…and ROUND 18!
Round 19! Soooo close to 20. I wonder how many til I stop. Then I gotta do another round of Suprep at 10. Omg.
Noooooo round 20!!!!! I think I’m done!
Finished! 2 hours and 45 minutes after taking Suprep! 19 horrendous rounds of liquid-shits. And I now weighed 166.8 pounds.
I had a few hours before having to begin the next dose of Suprep. I think Mum, hubby, and I just watched TV…and then, it was time. I dreaded the late-night start because all I wanted to do was go to sleep, but noooo, I had to poop instead.
Down the hatch! (Second round of Suprep)
Roooound 1!!!!
And 2!
Insert Round 3 here. Omfg that one was fierce!
4!!!
Round 5 was soooo loud I nearly vomited. Sounded just like a solid vomit
Oh God, round 6 didn’t wait long
#7! I’m not even wiping anymore. Or flushing. Just sitting here, waiting, shitting, waiting, shitting, waiting lol
Omg 8 was amazing. This poor toilet
Round 9!! Is it over yet?
10!!! I thought I was safe so sat on the couch and had to run back in here….
11. Think we’ll top 20?
12! I feel like it’s been so much more than that …
….I think it stopped
That was a lie. Round 13 gurgled only after I laid down to rest. My poor bleeding butthole. Back in bed though. And btw…if I didn’t already say so….it’s clear
I slept straight through! No terrifying episodes of shitting the bed or getting up all night to poop! I thought I was in the clear. I was wrong.
I wake up at 4:00 a.m.
Big ol gentle liquid poo.
Make that two giant liquid poos
Nope…three.
Four!!!
Omg…five!
We then had to head out to the hospital for my 5:00am check-in. I used the restroom once before they sat me down (so, round #6)
and AGAIN while being prepped for surgery. Yep, my little booty waddled down the hallway with an IV in my arm, the surgery cap on, and sportin’ the beautiful hospital gown (round #7). I oftentimes wonder if I shit during surgery? Guessing not.
If you made it all the way down to the end of this blog, you’re amazing! I hope you had a good laugh. I know I did while I was reliving the memories! Alright, the promised tips & tricks I learned from my first bowel prep experience:
- Follow those darned prep instructions. To the letter!
- If allowed, drink the prep cold. THROUGH A STRAW. And as quickly as you can stomach.
- Chase it with ice cold water or gatorade. Or suck on a lime between sips (if your doctor says it’s okay).
- Invest in some comfy, soft, gentle, pampering butt wipes. Be careful, though, you may not be able to flush them with some plumbing systems. Just bring a small trash bag to be safe and haul that shit (literally) out when you’re all done.
- That being said: don’t wipe every time. As you read above, some of the bouts o’liquid-poo are so close together, wiping made no sense. You’ll help save the environment, and the tender flesh of your bumhole.
- Vaseline is your friend. TENDER bumhole!
- Continue to drink water as instructed by the bowel prep instructions, but also make sure you don’t drink any after you’ve been commanded NO FOOD OR LIQUID before your procedure.
- If you do end up falling asleep before you feel you’ve completed voided your liquid-bowels, make sure you get up a little earlier than planned to allow extra time to clear ’em out.
- Bring a good book. Or your phone/tablet.
- Bring a blanket!
- Keep a positive attitude about the whole darned experience.
- And treat yourself to something soothing when you’re back on your feet…you earned it!
Good luck with your prep! And whatever reason you’re having to complete it!
Bloomin' Uterus 
And I thought the adult “Fleet” enemas were bad, lol! Hope your next experience isn’t too hard to handle and good luck at your next colonoscopy.🍀 💛💛💛🍀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Awwwwwwww my ol’ buddy ol’ pal: Fleet! I’ve got some “fond” memories with those ones as well! Thank you!!! I’ll take those clovers and EndoSister hearts! ❤
LikeLike
haha, thanks for sharing. Hope the colonoscopy goes well. I’ve one in a few days myself so was handy reading this!
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re SO welcome! You’ll have to come back and let me know how yours compared 😀
LikeLike
Thank you for posting this, I stumbled across your page when I googled how long the prep took and I appreciated your funny play by play of events. I’ve had a few colonoscopies in the past but I think my brain blocked everything out from remembering how much time is spent sitting on the toilet haha. Also I just happened to click over to your main page after reading this and I hope your recovery is going well from your latest surgery!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi Mel!! You’re SO welcome!!!
I had to reread it before my recent surgery to prepare for the prep again! Haha!! I laughed and it was truly helpful in my planning, too. Rhymes with Poo 😉
My recovery is going wonderfully, thank you! ❤
Wishing you the best of luck with your upcoming prep and procedure ❤
LikeLike
Glad to hear and thank you ☺️❤️
LikeLike
You have your colonoscopy prep adventure again yet? How’d it … um … Go? 😉
LikeLike
This might be the only thing saving me as I read this from the bathroom. Bless you for such a relatable play by play. Hoping I get that short sleep break you got….and hope you are healthy and happy!
LikeLike
❤ How'd it go? No pun intended….or was it?
LikeLike
From personal experience doing at least ten bowel preps, I would recommend following a bowel prep that works for you! My system maybe overly sensitive, but I can’t handle the prescription bowel prep liquids they now say to use – plus they are super gross to drink (we are riddled with pain, could they not make something taste better??). These prescription bowel preps were either not prescribed or not available when I first started to have colonoscopies. Instead I would drink a lot of miralax with an addition if laxative, stool softener, and/or clear water enema. With my first I drank two bottles of magnesium sulfate (may be misnaming, but they have little bottles of it at the pharmacy – they are like soda just with way more carbonation. The point of a bowel prep is to clean you out so that the morning of your surgery or colonoscopy any liquid coming out of your rectum is as clear as possible. Cleaning yourself out isn’t that much fun, so why make it worse? I buy hot chocolate mix, ginger ale and bitters, and Gatorade to mix my miralax with. I s wear by the instant hot chocolate packets – you can easily mix in a lot of miralax without noticing. Miralax is far more gentle on your system and less likely to cause cramping. Dehydration accompanied by low blood pressure is a real problem with me and I have fainted from a prescription bowel prep. No matter what prep is right for you, stay hydrated. Be kind to yourself and find a bowel prep that works for your system. I have found, in general, that most doctors are dismissive of my request for a certain prep, they don’t take me seriously when I report how painful it is to do (fill in blank), you know, the shit you get when you are a woman. You are not being hysterical, difficult, or unreasonable if certain preps cause a lot of discomfort or pain. Every body is different! When I do my bowel preps I try to pamper myself a little; I plan out my day, I line up things to read and then movies and shows to watch when I know more distraction will helpful, I wear comfy clothing and wear a thin cotton pad (leaking is very real!), I make sure there are wipes, water, preparation H w/lidocaine, and gloves are in the bathroom, I line the bathroom floor with towels and pillows bc sometimes it’s easiest to rest there during the worst of it, and I make sure I have a buddy – when I lived alone, I would have my cell phone nearby and now my partner checks in on me. If a bowel prep is not working for you, it is ok to stop and switch prep methods – sometimes a specific one just does not work, even if it has worked for you before. Please bear in mind, everything I wrote is from my personal experience. I have had A LOT of personal experience doing bowel preps, but I am not a doctor. I also want to recognize that for many, many people bowel prep is no big deal. I have very painful endometriosis, two hernias, adenomyosis, GERD, slow gut motility, and proctalgia fugax. I get dehydrated and dizzy very easily and I have low blood pressure. Or in an older white male doctor’s words: hysteria. Hope this finds its way to someone who has also been dismissed – you are not alone!
LikeLike