Good morning. Happy Friday.
Can you believe 2021 is half over already? ALREADY!?!
Yesterday I had an ultrasound with the possibility of Endo growth in my cul-de-sac. This technician is so amazeballs she hasn’t been wrong yet with my body, my Endo, and my surgery outcome. I’ll talk to my Doc on Tuesday to go over it, his thoughts, my (lack of) of horrific symptoms, and a plan. I know it will be a lot of “sit, watch, and wait,” but even the possibility of it being back led me to a tail-spin of grief last night.
I made it most of the 40-minute drive home without crying…until The Killers “Everything Will Be Alright” popped on the radio. Then the waterworks started. I vented to some friends and sobbed into my husband’s shoulder when he got home from work. We went out for comfort food for dinner, talked about it, and I’m a lot calmer today than yesterday.
But while digging around the great big Internet this morning for a quote, I was hit in the face with this one:
“Resilience is accepting your new reality, even if it’s less good than the one you had before. You can fight it, you can do nothing but scream about what you’ve lost, or you can accept that and try to put together something that’s good.”
― Elizabeth Edwards
Yesterday’s news was not the end of the world. And it’s only just a possibility. And, right now, my pain levels have been ooooh soooo minimal. Everything will be okay.
But it hit me. And it hit hard. And I began to mourn all of the things I may not have because of it. BUT…I wouldn’t be where I am right now in a better frame of mind if it weren’t for the support of friends and loved ones. So, thank you.
And the offer always stands: if you need someone to talk to, I am always here for you. Even if we may be in this same boat together. Last night I needed friends to pull me out of the sea, and it was beautiful. I may need my own help from time to time, but it doesn’t mean I’m not here to help you, too.