Christine Miserandino came up with The Spoon Theory. It is gut-wrenching. The Spoon Theory was Christine’s way of explaining to her friend what life with Lupus is like. It’s a metaphor for our stamina and energy: any task you do during the day uses up one spoon. You only have 12 spoons…so you must choose your tasks wisely, or else you run out of spoons…and steam. For those of us with Endometriosis, the Spoon Theory still applies. Any chronic illness, especially one that causes pain and fatigue, can use the spoon theory. My Spoon Theory experience truly took shape this weekend…I not only blame my Endo, but my Lupron Depot (which has morphed me into a walking zombie!)
My beau and I had to go grocery shopping on Saturday and went to Costco. For those of you not familiar with Costco. it’s a warehouse-style bulk store, with endless aisles and endless people. After being in Costco for about an hour, and walking down nearly every aisle, I was completely exhausted. And our shopping wasn’t done. We then hit a grocery store, which I barely made it through. One more store was on our list, but I had to send the man in alone as I rested in the car.
As soon as we got home, and the groceries were put away, I was on the couch the remainder of the day. A lump. We went out for massages that evening, which helped with the relaxation, but I was so exhausted I took a nap on the table.
Then today arrived. We stayed in bed until 9:00am, woke up and had breakfast and watched a movie. Once the movie was done, I had to take an hour-long nap. Woke up from that and sat at the computer after eating lunch. About an hour passed, and I had to relinquish again, “Hun, I have to go lay down…” and proceeded to nap for the next four hours. I’ve been up for two, and already want to just lay down and sleep again.
I haven’t done anything today. Not one thing. But I feel like I’ve used up all of my spoons, and then some. And it’s like this, every day. And I’m worried about next weekend, when I have a “full day” planned with girlfriends. Hopefully, I’ll have a full arsenal of spoons that day!
I’d like to think the exhausted symptoms are so exacerbated because of the side effects of my Lupron Depot and Add Back medications. I’d like to think I’ll have my life back when these treatments are concluded. Only time will tell.
If you’re reading this and you suffer from Endometriosis, you have my sympathies. If you’re reading this and know someone with Endo, please practice some patience with us. Try the Spoon Theory experiment for a day. It may offer you new perspective. Our bodies are our worst enemies and sometimes they win. Today, mine did.
* Sundays are “Readers Choice” days! A topic is chosen by a reader, and I blog about it. Today’s topic came up in a phone call with my Mum, Linda. After talking about it, I figured I’d blog about it. Thanks, Mum!