After two weeks of wringing my hands, getting all worked up, losing sleep, crying, being in a depressed funk, and trying to breathe and stay calm while wearing a smile, I have peace. I was finally able to sit down with my doctor today to discuss the results of an ultrasound I had two weeks ago and how my Endometriosis is doing.

My medical group had decided that my OB/GYN was no longer the man for the job and I’d have to go off-site for the transvaginal ultrasound. Not onlydid the technician not know my body (aka my unique anatomy) or Endometriosis, but she also couldn’t find my right ovary (which I understand isn’t all that uncommon). But, had Dr. Kurtulus performed the ultrasound, he would have kept looking for it…and given me the results of the ultrasound before I even left his office. No waiting, wondering, or web-surfing!

So, yesterday was our fateful day of discussing the US report. The worst-case scenario: the Endo was back and I’d need my second surgery already (oh how this thought has made me weep). The best-case scenario: everything’s fine and I’ll see you next year. Which one prevailed? The best-case scenario, of course. No cysts or other red flags that the Endo may be back. And the missing ovary? Likely it was just hiding – if something were truly wrong with it, it’d show up all kinds of wrong on the imaging study. He’s encouraged me to write a letter to my medical group chastising their decision to send me (and others) to off-site facilities, causing these sorts of oversights, delays, and worry. You could tell he was quite angry that the medical group was making HMO patients head off-site. So, I’m not the only one…I’ve zipped him off a copy of my letter so he could forward it to the appropriate people.

My symptoms are still manageable enough to where I’m going to just keep on doing what I’ve been doing : watching my diet and taking my continuous birth control pills in the hopes that the Endo takes it’s sweet time in recurring. Taking my prescription pain meds if it’s too much to bear. If my pain worsens or becomes more frequent, or other symptoms take root, I can go in to see my doctor to have long conversations at any time in the future. We talked for a good 15 minutes today, Dr. Kurtulus, and I. Not only about the scan, but about the Endo support group, our efforts, and our personal lives. Find a doctor you could have long, personal talks with; one you can trust. It makes for a deeper connection. I respect this man, his practice, and his opinion.

For those of you who knew about the past two weeks and held me up (or just held me), thank you. I’d have been an even bigger blubbering mess if it weren’t for you. Last night, my fiance James and I had celebratory sushi for dinner…and I enjoyed a nice glass of red wine. It was time to relax.  And celebrate.

Update: January 7, 2021; Several months after this entry, I heard back from my HMO’s medical group. Due to the letter I wrote, they re-approved Dr. Kurtulus to perform in-house ultrasounds. YAY for small victories!

*whew*