Hello my lovely readers! I hope you’re all doing well.

Today’s Feel Good Fridays is a selfish one: I found it for me. And I want to share it with you. May it strike a chord with you as it did me.

“She is of the strangest beauty and the darkest courage, and when she walks with intent the earth trembles beneath her feet.”
― Nicole Lyons, Hush

I had another ultrasound yesterday because of my pelvic pain and I’ve mixed emotions. I plan on blogging about what I’m going through after my doctor’s appointment that I have next Tuesday. In the meantime: have courage. In all things. I know that there is something amiss inside my body; the pain tells me as much. I’ve had five pelvic ultrasounds in the last 11 months. We’ve been monitoring cysts on both ovaries. My pain has been off-and-on during the last six of those months and getting progressively worse. In my October ultrasound, the cysts were found to be shrinking, which I thought odd because my pain was doing the opposite.

Yesterday’s ultrasound yielded results that supported my suspicions: something is definitely going on. And Tuesday I will talk with my doctor and surgeon, Dr. Mel Kurtulus, to discuss the report and a plan. And then I’ll update you!

Although I want to curl into a ball on the floor and cry, I won’t. Not yet. I need to mentally steel myself for Surgery No. 5 in six years. Even if it finds nothing amiss: I need to go in and make sure. And I need to be ready to watch my husband, mother, and best friends go through the anguish of another surgery with me. I know it’s hard on them, too.

I don’t despise the disease. It has brought me closer to each of you, introduced me to some incredibly strong people, and given me something to fight for. But moments like these are incredibly difficult.

So, stand tall, embrace that inward beauty you possess, and walk with intent. You’ve got this.

I’ve got this.