The good news, the not-so-good news, and the plan!

November 6, 2019December 29, 2020 | Bloomin' Uterus

A sheet of paper with the word PLAN written on top

Yesterday was horrendous to get through. My pain was almost always an 8 to 9 out of 10. It was SO bad I reminded me of my periods during my 20s. HORRENDOUS. In a ball, crying, and couldn’t find any relief in any position. I barely got five hours of sleep last night, but I’m at work today with my pain down in the 4-level. I can do this.

I met with my gyno/surgeon yesterday to discuss my recent ultrasound: my left cyst is shrinking! It’s down from a 2.3cm to a 1.2cm. Both he and the radiologist feel it’s a simple cyst that is resolving itself. No more need for another ultrasound in two months! YAY!

My explosive pain on Day One of my period yesterday was met with options. He cannot prescribe Tramadol (which is the only thing that works for me when Naproxen doesn’t) because it’s an opioid. So, back to those options:

Lupron Depot: no
Orilissa: no
Birth control pills: no
IUD: no
Depo Provera: no
Surgery: maybe
Acupuncture: I can’t afford it
Pelvic floor therapy: I can’t afford it
Pain Management doctor: yes

So, the plan: Get the referral to a pain management doctor (he recommended one and I already emailed my PCP for the referral) and see how that goes. Head on back to Dr. Kurtulus in February to discuss how things are going.

If still desired at that time, discuss another excision surgery and a hysterectomy to remove at least the cervix and uterus (they still suspect I have Adenomyosis), leave both ovaries if both can remain; remove one if one appears it needs to be removed. And excise any Endometriosis he may find, as well as adhesions an restore anatomy to its rightful place.

I was in so much pain in the appointment that I just cried. I felt like such a boob.

Today’s pain levels are much more manageable. And I just received word that this Friday’s colonoscopy is approved by my insurance, so I’m glad I didn’t take any NSAIDs yesterday.

Having a plan, even one that is so far in advance, helps with the mental aspects of coping. And I’m grateful for even that much. And thank you to everyone for your support yesterday!

PS – I love my doctor and his staff. Even though I wasn’t in my best mood and form, they were all so super supportive and positive and loving.

Days like today suck

November 5, 2019December 26, 2020 | Bloomin' Uterus

So last night I started having cramping on my lower left side. I have a colonoscopy scheduled for this Friday so I can’t take any NSAIDs. I also have lower back pain in the same exact spot where my abs hurt. The pain ranged between a 4 to a 6 out of 10. All night long.

I have a doctor’s appointment this afternoon just by circumstance with my gynecologist / excision surgeon to discuss an ultrasound from last week. So 2:30 can’t come quick enough. Rather than just update my pain journal, I decided I would draw on my body where the pain is. So some of the marks are from last night and some of the marker marks are from today. I’m absolutely going to pull my pants down in my appointment.

I had a heating pad on all night and it really didn’t do anything.

Today, the pain is in the same area but intensified. It now ranges from a 6 to a 9 out of 10. I decided to go to work thinking I could just pull through, but I was there for half an hour before I realized I needed to go home. I popped two Tylenol before I left, and an hour later, it’s not done a damn thing for the pain.

The pain was so intense while driving home that at one point all I could do was pull over, cry, and scream.

But I’m home now. I have my heating pad on again which I did bring to work but the pain was so intense I couldn’t focus. At least now I’m on my couch in my bathrobe curled into a ball with my heating pad clenched to my abdomen and I’m talking to my phone as it types what I say.

I don’t know what I expect out of today’s appointment. And I really am grateful that this pain is only present one or two days a month while I’m on my period. But I find it ridiculous that all of my pain is on the lower left side and none of it is where my uterus is, so it terrifies me into thinking something is back.

Supposedly the cyst on my left side is shrinking and they do still believe it to be a simple cyst. If that’s the case, explain away my pain. The only thing I have in mind: In the past the endometriosis is super heavy on my left side. So is it back already?

Perhaps today I’ll schedule that long awaited hysterectomy. I don’t want kids at my age. My tubes are already gone. I know it’s not a cure. But if they suspect I have adenomyosis and if I only have pain around my periods maybe it’ll help?

While driving home, after having pulled over to cry and scream because the cramping became too intense, I freaking shouted the words, “I can’t do this anymore.” To nobody. To my steering wheel. To the air. To myself.

Not words of suicidal ideation, but the words of pure desperation that this pain is just too fucking much regardless of the fact that I only get it once every few months if that. I don’t want any more surgeries. I don’t want any more pills. I don’t want any more pain. I shouldn’t have to curl up into a ball clutching my heating pad on the floor at work. Something needs to be done.

But with how bad today is, how bad August was oh, and the fact that I’ve skipped 5 periods this year, something is amiss. I fear I’m going to go in and ask for one more surgery.

August was intense but not as intense as this. I missed a day of work then, too. This! A 9 out of 10, constant, and nothing is helping? Days like today suck.

Maybe it is back. Maybe it isn’t. But I feel like I’m dying today.

Pain Journal: October 2019

November 1, 2019December 23, 2020 | Bloomin' Uterus

Boy, October was interesting!

Throughout the month, I’ve had a few bouts of abdominal cramping. As I go through my pain journal, most of that was either diarrhea-related or getting close to my period. I did, however, have a few odd episodes of stabbing or throbbing pain toward the lower right and lower left of my abs. And when I cough, sneeze, or twist a certain way (hubby and I have recently signed up for a yoga class), there’s a pulling sensation on my lower right abs.

An ultrasound yesterday found my right ovary may be slightly stuck to the underside of my uterus, which may account for the right-sided pain. The cyst on the left ovary appears to be collapsing. I have my official meeting with my physician on Tuesday to discuss the ultrasound findings.

Sex is still painless, but I do think again it’s in part to the fact that we’re avoiding positions that we know cause me pain (aka doggy style).

My period showed up on October 7th, announced with cramping. Throughout the eight-day period, I only had to take 3 Naproxen and those knocked the six out of 10 pain down to a one or a two. So those still seem to hold their own and help. When the Naproxen wore off, I cuddled my heating pad and suffered. There was one night where the pain kept me awake.

If you’d like go scroll through my pain journal, here you go:

Boy, I ate a LOT of fast food in October. What? That may explain the excessive diarrhea throughout the month. Oh. My. God. And a lot of alcohol…Too much food, crappy food, too much booze: it all goes straight through me. Again, I really need to get better at that. I feel like I type this sentence every month…

And here’s my pooooooo-craziness! Although there was A LOT of loose bowels…I’ve made it through another month with NO pain when I poo! I simply CANNOT believe it! Thank God for my Dr. Kurtulus finding the endometriosis on my bowels and involving Dr. Schultzel for the bowel resection! My pooping is SO much better, and it’s almost been A YEAR!

I’m ashamed to say this is probably my most diarrhea-filled month since surgery. I failed October miserably and vow to make November easier on my body and bowels!

What do you learn about yourself when you track your pain, symptoms, and diet? I’m still learning!

Feel Good Fridays!

November 1, 2019November 1, 2019 | Bloomin' Uterus

Welcome to November 1st. There’s only 61 days left in 2019. And I feel like this year has just flown by.

I struggled to find a quote today. Everything I read fell flat in my heart. So, I reached to my co-worker, Shaldon, and asked if he had a favorite inspiring quote. He had shared this one on his Facebook page today…and I loved it…and I borrowed it for our blog.

No, it’s not Shaldon’s sloppy seconds. It’s sharing! And sharing means caring!

Damned if I do, damned if I don't...so damnit I will!

This one goes out to those EndoWarriors who need a cheat day and crave that bite of chocolate ice cream, or that cup o’joe with whipped cream, or those nightshades, or how about some cheeeeeese.

It’s okay to allow yourself a moment of happiness. Some may call it weakness, but I call it happiness. Don’t let the “Endo Diet” dictate your every day. But, do understand, that it may cause you some pain or symptoms to worsen.

Many of us don’t feel any difference following strict meal plans. Follow your heart. Your gut. Your instincts. And listen to your body.

But don’t be afraid to cheat every once in a while.

But the same goes for self-care. DO find time for yourself, to breathe, to meditate, to reflect, to honor your body, to say “no”, to embrace the need to sit back and do nothing but hold your heating pad and cry.

Do whatever you need to do. At this moment. Right now.

I wish I could end our suffering.

Love, Lisa

Inguinal Hernia & Endometriosis

October 29, 2019January 1, 2021 | Bloomin' Uterus

Inguinal canal in female courtesy of https://www.slideshare.net/vernonpashi/surgical-anatomy-of-the-inguinal-canal

Recently, a study hit my inbox about Endometriosis mimicking an inguinal hernia. So, of course, my interest was piqued and research had to take place! Be warned, though, it’s considered VERY rare. In all the literature I’ve read, only 42 cases have been referenced as being documented inguinal Endo. But when has rarity stopped me from sharing something about Endometriosis? Yeah. Never. Here we go!

What is AN inguinal hernia?

An inguinal hernia is the most common type of hernia (about 70% of hernias are inguinal) and usually manifests as a small lump in the groin area. Both men and women can get inguinal hernias, but it’s apparently more common in men. It occurs if there’s a small hole in your abdominal cavity which allows fat or intestines to seep through, which can a lump or swelling to occur.

Continue reading →

Feel Good Fridays

October 25, 2019January 7, 2021 | Bloomin' Uterus

Another week has passed. It’s Friday! Already. October is almost over. Do you have any fun fall plans?

Today’s quote brought tears to my eyes and a lump to my throat.

This one is for you who suffer, you who push, you who continue to move forward.

“There’s a remarkable amount of strength residing in those who move forward without being able to physically move. Ones that carry the weight of illness or a disability, they battle wars most know nothing about. They are the true warriors of the world, the ones who have every reason to quit but never do.”
― Nikki Rowe

Whatever the battle or weight you carry, keep fighting. Even if that means staying in bed to recoup, or take a day of rest, or ask friends for help: fight. Always.

Love, Lisa

Blogs I Updated This Week:

Orilissa: AbbVie’s New Drug to Manage Endometriosis Syptoms: Added an Oct. 15, 2019 study by Dr. Brian Ford which discusses the side effects, effectiveness, and pros/cons of the drug.

Blogs I added this week:

My experience with a bowel prep: I’ll be going through another bowel prep in a few weeks and dug of my notes from last year’s prep…nothing like being prepped for a prep!

My experience with a bowel prep

October 24, 2019February 9, 2021 | Bloomin' Uterus

Do you have a bowel surgery coming up? Maybe just a colonoscopy? Or something else to do with your guts?

Either way, you likely have to endure a bowel prep: drink some nastiness and spend the next few hours glued to the toilet.

I had my bowel resection in November of 2018 and had no idea what I was in for with Suprep Bowel Prep Kit. And now I have my very first colonoscopy on calendar for November 8, 2019 (just to check and make sure everything is decent and runnin’ smoothly in there). I was also told I’d be enduring the same bowel prep! Yay! Yay? Just kidding.

So I got home and scrambled for my notes from last November. Just how bad was the experience before? I had been messaging a friend of mine who kept me company during the ordeal. And rather than just read them while laughing and get a sense of what to expect in a few weeks, I thought I’d share them.

I mean, who knows – you may very well have ended up on this page because you, too, were searching for “what happens in a bowel prep?” Brace yourself…my notes are coming! And if you make it all the way to the bottom (there’s a pun in there somewhere), I’ll list a few tips and tricks I picked up along the way to make this process a little more bearable.

Shortly after 4:15pm, on November 25, 2018, I downed my first round of Suprep. The second dose was at 10:00pm. Following are my notes (aka, texts to my friend):

Prior to the poop-fest, I weighed myself right before drinking Suprep: 169.5 pounds. I was curious how much poo and water weight I would lose after it was all over. Stay tuned!

Drank first round of Suprep

OMFG that’s the most amazing torrential downpour of liquid shit I’ve ever experienced!!!!! 35 minutes after consumption and round 1 of ?? is done!

I’m still pooping…confirmed: no visible plunger in this bathroom lol

Round 2 !!!!!

Ooooomgggg round 3. I didn’t even have to leave the toilet from round 2! Just when I was about to wipe: nope. Seriously amazing pooping!!! Like a high pressure water hose!

Round 4!

….round five….literally as I’m wiping my ass with a baby wipe. HAAAAHAAAHAAAAAAAAA caught me by surprise. ALMOST CLEAR!

Round 6 and 7! 7 was far more violent. I wish I could describe the sensation of pressure washing the inside of the toilet with my butt juice!

Round 8 done. I’m not even gonna wipe anymore. Just sit here. It’s like ..what…30-45 seconds between pooping? Pooping isn’t even a fitting description anymore. I AM getting up for most times. Barely made it back in time for round 9. I think I’ll sit here til round 10

There goes round 10! It’s amazing ’cause they’re all like the same amount of liquid poo. Like there’s a measuring system in my intestines and a shutoff valve, a pressure build up, and RELEASE! …This bathroom is fucking freezing

Round 11!! IT’S AMAZING! No cramps or anything. Just a sudden urge to spew water from me bum

Almost didn’t pull my pants down in time for round 12! I think I better live here for a minute or two

Round 13!!!

Where the heck is round 14?

There’s 14! …Oooh mum brought me her fuzzy blanket! I’m warm!!! And my asshole is killing me LOL! Vaseline and all. Omg.

The question was posed, “What if your mom has to go?” – referring to the one-bathroom AirBNB suite we shared for the evening. My response? “She’s screwed!”

Round 15 took a while haha

Omfg. Round 16 made up for 15’s delay!

I’m waiting for 17…There it is! I knew it was comin’!

Jim says hi. Oh…and ROUND 18!

Round 19! Soooo close to 20. I wonder how many til I stop. Then I gotta do another round of Suprep at 10. Omg.

Noooooo round 20!!!!! I think I’m done!

Finished! 2 hours and 45 minutes after taking Suprep! 19 horrendous rounds of liquid-shits. And I now weighed 166.8 pounds.

I had a few hours before having to begin the next dose of Suprep. I think Mum, hubby, and I just watched TV…and then, it was time. I dreaded the late-night start because all I wanted to do was go to sleep, but noooo, I had to poop instead.

Down the hatch! (Second round of Suprep)

Roooound 1!!!!

And 2!

Insert Round 3 here. Omfg that one was fierce!

4!!!

Round 5 was soooo loud I nearly vomited. Sounded just like a solid vomit

Oh God, round 6 didn’t wait long

#7! I’m not even wiping anymore. Or flushing. Just sitting here, waiting, shitting, waiting, shitting, waiting lol

Omg 8 was amazing. This poor toilet

Round 9!! Is it over yet?

10!!! I thought I was safe so sat on the couch and had to run back in here….

11. Think we’ll top 20?

12! I feel like it’s been so much more than that …

….I think it stopped

That was a lie. Round 13 gurgled only after I laid down to rest. My poor bleeding butthole. Back in bed though. And btw…if I didn’t already say so….it’s clear

I slept straight through! No terrifying episodes of shitting the bed or getting up all night to poop! I thought I was in the clear. I was wrong.

I wake up at 4:00 a.m.

Big ol gentle liquid poo.

Make that two giant liquid poos

Nope…three.

Four!!!

Omg…five!

We then had to head out to the hospital for my 5:00am check-in. I used the restroom once before they sat me down (so, round #6)

and AGAIN while being prepped for surgery. Yep, my little booty waddled down the hallway with an IV in my arm, the surgery cap on, and sportin’ the beautiful hospital gown (round #7). I oftentimes wonder if I shit during surgery? Guessing not.

If you made it all the way down to the end of this blog, you’re amazing! I hope you had a good laugh. I know I did while I was reliving the memories! Alright, the promised tips & tricks I learned from my first bowel prep experience:

Follow those darned prep instructions. To the letter!
If allowed, drink the prep cold. THROUGH A STRAW. And as quickly as you can stomach.
Chase it with ice cold water or gatorade. Or suck on a lime between sips (if your doctor says it’s okay).
Invest in some comfy, soft, gentle, pampering butt wipes. Be careful, though, you may not be able to flush them with some plumbing systems. Just bring a small trash bag to be safe and haul that shit (literally) out when you’re all done.
That being said: don’t wipe every time. As you read above, some of the bouts o’liquid-poo are so close together, wiping made no sense. You’ll help save the environment, and the tender flesh of your bumhole.
Vaseline is your friend. TENDER bumhole!
Continue to drink water as instructed by the bowel prep instructions, but also make sure you don’t drink any after you’ve been commanded NO FOOD OR LIQUID before your procedure.
If you do end up falling asleep before you feel you’ve completed voided your liquid-bowels, make sure you get up a little earlier than planned to allow extra time to clear ’em out.
Bring a good book. Or your phone/tablet.
Bring a blanket!
Keep a positive attitude about the whole darned experience.
And treat yourself to something soothing when you’re back on your feet…you earned it!

Good luck with your prep! And whatever reason you’re having to complete it!

Feel Good Fridays

October 18, 2019December 26, 2020 | Bloomin' Uterus

Screenshot of Facebook memories from October 18, 2010: is grateful for the strength of friends

Good morning! And I hope it is a good morning for you. Well, it’s Friday! Another week has fled. Time flies far too fast. October is more than halfway over.

Today’s quote is brought to you by Facebook Memories and is pictured above.

Nine years ago, I was going through a very rough time. The exact details? Oh, I don’t recall, but it was likely heartache-related. The posts around that same time were filled with self-doubt and judgment. And even today, I am still oh so grateful for the strength of friends. Sometimes you just can’t go it alone.

But whatever you are going through, you aren’t alone. Friends, loved ones, family, and extended family: we are all here for you. Whatever your need may be.

Have a BEAUTIFUL weekend! And, remember, if you ever need me I’m right here for you.

Feel Good Fridays!

October 11, 2019December 22, 2020 | Bloomin' Uterus

Text reads The Sun will come up, the seasons will change

So, here we are at another Friday.

I haven’t written a new blog piece in so long that I feel like a slacker. I’ve got many, many, many drafts going, research looming, events to plan, and life to live – but I promise a new one will be coming soon.

I didn’t realize how much it was bothering me until I read today’s quote, which hit me like a punch in the gut.

“You can do this, and if you can’t do it today, you’ll do it tomorrow. You are not a failure.”
― Alisha Rai, Wrong to Need You

Whatever…and I mean WHATEVER…it is that is dragging you down because you haven’t (or can’t) do it yet, embrace the thought that there will come a time that you will be able to. Whatever it is. Don’t let it be a personal reflection of who you are. hang in there. Stand strong. You aren’t a failure. Your body isn’t a failure. Your life isn’t a failure. Persevere.

And please, always remember, to set aside some time to focus on your own well-being, whether it be mental or physical. Even if it’s just 5-10 minutes of “Me” time. Do it.

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend. And remember just how wonderful and special you truly are.

Love, Lisa