Feel Good Fridays

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Friday! Already?!?  Where does the time go?

Since so many of you Readers are EndoSisters, and you are the strongest women I’ve ever met, this one is for you:

“After you have suffered great losses and known much pain, it is not cowardice to wish to live henceforth with a minimum of suffering. And one form of heroism, about which few if any films will be made, is having the courage to live without bitterness when bitterness is justified, having the strength to persevere even when perseverance seems unlikely to be rewarded, having the resolution to find profound meaning in life when it seems the most meaningless” 
― Dean KoontzThe City

You are my heroines.  We are Mighty.  And we are all in this together.

May we persevere.

Love you, Lisa.

 

Blogs I updated this week:

Dungeons & Dragons & Donuts – added our June 24, 2018, session.  This session didn’t go the way any of us expected it to!

Endometriosis and the Psoas Major Muscle – added a May 2018 study (Journal of Minimally Invasive Gynecology) of a 28-year-old woman and her symptoms

Share Your Story: Rose of Sharon

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“Rose of Sharon” was diagnosed when she was 26 years old.  Now 44, she comes to us (and you) for help.

Rose of Sharon’s Journey: For 19 years I suffered in silence ’cause no one took my condition seriously not even doctors! I feel as though I was cursed! Can’t keep a relationship, a job & a happy life. Endometriosis stole my entire life! I have never gotten pregnant. Sex was excruciating, the very thought of intimacy was terrifying! For 19 yrs I have endured & continue to endure pains that left me thinking of suicide! I have been told by doctors after six surgeries that I have to just manage this demon disease! From day one of my menstrual cycle, it has been hell. I just cannot live like this but I don’t know what to do or try again! I NEED help!

Words of Advice for Us:  I live on other EndoSisters strength & advice but I will say this it’s not hidden no more. Awareness is the key to this terrible & demonic disease!!!

The Last Word: Please help find a cure!

I want to send a special Thank You out to Rose of Sharon for being brave enough to share her personal story, struggle, and victories with us today.  You are a beautiful, brave, and strong woman.  May you find the help you seek.

 

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And if YOU would like to share your story, you can do so by clicking here.  The best part about this disease is the strong network of love and support from our fellow EndoSisters, and our friends and family, too.

Yours, Lisa.

In a Moment of Weakness

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My third robotic-assisted laparoscopic surgery is now seven days away.  As I lay awake in bed last night, my mind wandered to the process:  pre-op/intake, placement of the IV, a conversation with my surgeon, trying to wear a brave face as my Mom and husband do the same, the  ride down the hallway with the overhead lights (just like in the movies), the surgery room doors opening, and being greeted by staff as they make last-minute preparations for the procedure.  Then the moment of being placed on the operating table, getting strapped in, and the anesthesiologist coming to send me off to sleep.

It’s not easy.  It’s not a grand adventure.  But, partially it IS an adventure: the hope of relief, of a returning quality of life, a possibility of normalcy.  But, let’s be honest…it’s terrifying, it’s scary, and it’s going to hurt when you wake up…and the recovery takes weeks just to function; months to feel normal.  And for some women: they never get that sense of normalcy.

So, last night as these thoughts tumbled through my brain, I reached my hand out to my husband and laid it on his hip.  Before I knew what I was saying, the words “I’m nervous,” gently babbled out of my mouth.

He reached down and stroked my hand with his, then he pulled my hand up to his heart and held it there.  I closed my eyes and silently let the tears flow.  And he just held my hand firmly against his beating heart.  Until I fell asleep.

I love him. So very, very much.

I often get asked, “How does your husband deal with your illness?”

This.  This is how.

I don’t know where I would be in this Journey without him.

 

 

Share Your Story: Michelle

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Michelle from Virginia was diagnosed with Endometriosis when she was 36.  Now a year later, she shares her Endo story with us.

Michelle’s Journey:  Hi. My name is Michelle. I am sharing this story to help others with endometriosis. I have a very unique story.

In 2003 I came out of the military with a rare bone tumor called fibrous dysplasia. This was and still is in my pelvis. It’s something I went through many years and it took having my third son to put me in a state of barely walking, getting infusions, many rare surgeries at John Hopkins to get the help I needed to walk day-to-day.

In 2012 after having my third son I was having lower back pain and the pain seemed unbearable! Move forward to 2016 after both hip surgeries and pelvis surgeries I was having unbearable pain again and the Hopkins doctors were concerned it became malignant so I had a scan that showed ovarian cyst large enough concerning my pain, and after Christmas I was given an ultrasound and told I had two that seemed like chocolate cysts.

By February and March they did lower scopes since I was having bowel issues too. While that came out fine, I found a doctor that specialized in endometriosis and felt I had it. I knew the pelvis pain wasn’t from fibrous dysplasia and with that condition it made it hard to know exactly how much. I went ahead and scheduled surgery for hysterectomy and removal of cysts. So surgery was supposed to be 4-5 hours and it ended up being 9-10 hours. I had it mid-June. Apparently, I had one of the worst cases they have seen.

All my pre outpatient tests did not show the endometriosis on my intestine, rectum glued to my uterus and a more concerning part deep down in my uterus. I’m 2 weeks post op, stayed in hospital for three days. While I have stitches on my stomach, the inside lower is the concern of healing properly. Post op is up and down. Before surgery I was at gym 3 days a week so I have been walking each day but I still have a lot of pain. I feel like my endometriosis was over a scale I’d 10 always. Right now my lower back pain has since lowered significantly and while this not a cure I feel like this surgery for me really did benefit me. I did end up in hospital not even a week after due too breathing problems. Due too all the gas in stomach and upper. I had no issues passing gas and pooping but that was a goal I was determined to meet because I heard that is terrible. The upper gas was hard, and I had a breathing treatment for 10 days. I’m am 16 postop and sleeping is hard. I wake up with pain but in stomach and that sounds normal. My doctor is shocked if how much walking I’m doing but I feel like I’m slow and to be honest I didn’t start driving until a couple days ago and with three kids I don’t go far right now. Lifting is no joke. You have to have someone for 8 weeks to lift so your bottom doesn’t get messed from everything they did.

We have military, my school, and police department support and it has really helped. I have had many surgeries on pelvis for my dysplasia tumor but this one has been the hardest to experience and endure. Your body gets beat up and there is not physical therapy, only pelvis floor therapy which is something you do later on if you have rectum damage. I will have to go on a medication to help prevent more endometriosis. I only my ovaries left and that is bittersweet but I have also realized how lucky I am that I got three with endometriosis as the doctors are in disbelief and say I was blessed.

I think every case is unique and so a treatment has to be in the best interest for you. I hope this gives some insight on the treatment for it.

Words of Advice for Us:  Don’t lose hope. If you have a chronic pain seek medical attention and don’t be afraid of getting a second opinion.

The Last Word: I would say If you have chronic pain and it’s hard and challenging by nighttime don’t rely on pain meds find a solution but seeking a better treatment.

I want to send a special Thank You out to Michelle for being brave enough to share her personal story, struggle, and victories with us today.  As you say, “Don’t lose hope.”  You’re not alone in this battle.  You are a beautiful, brave, and strong woman.  Thank you!!!

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And if YOU would like to share your story, you can do so by clicking here.  The best part about this disease is the strong network of love and support from our fellow EndoSisters, and our friends and family, too.

Yours, Lisa.

Feel Good Fridays!

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Storm in the Mountains by AlbertBierstadt

Sorry I’ve been unable to blog lately.  I simply haven’t had the time or energy.  BUT, it’s Friday. And I’ll always try to make time for Feel Good Fridays!  Today’s quote is a doozy and it hit me right in the Feels:

“The storm is out there and every one of us must eventually face the storm. When the storm comes, pray that it will shake you to your roots and break you wide-open. Being broken open by the storm is your only hope. When you are broken open you get to discover for the first time what is inside you. Some people never get to see what is inside them; what beauty, what strength, what truth and love. They were never broken open by the storm. So, don’t run from your pain — run into your pain. Let life’s storm shatter you.” 
― Bryant McGillSimple Reminders: Inspiration for Living Your Best Life

For any of us facing troublesome times, or scary times, or uncertain moments, or trials and tribulations, or even just a moment of sadness…this one is for you.  And I.  May we hold firm, weather the storm, and pass through it.

Have a wonderful weekend.  And I wish you strength and peace.  Love, Lisa

There was a cancellation!

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My August 15th surgery has just been bumped up to July 18th!!

My work is totally cool with the change.  HR even came in to offer some kind words followed by, “I’ve never been more excited for someone to get a surgery.”  He knows how much I’ve been hurting lately.

My Mum can still join us!

And I’m nervous and excited and scared and and and…the whole spectrum of emotions that bubble-up with a pending surgery.

Best news ever.

 

Four Years Ago Today…

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Sept. 2016

June 30, 2014: a day I went in to have a cyst removed from my ovary and instead awoke to a diagnosis of Endometriosis.  Answers.  Vindication.  My years of pain had a name.

So, I celebrate this day.

I am writing this on Friday, June 29th since I will be away from my computer on Saturday.  And today (Friday) I just scheduled my third excision surgery.  It will take place on August 15, 2018…almost two years since my last surgery.

June 30, 2014: D-Day (yep, Diagnosis Day); performed by Dr. Mel Kurtulus at the Scripps La Jolla Hospital.

September 21, 2016: Surgery No. 2; performed by Dr. Mel Kurtulus at the Scripps La Jolla Hospital.

August 15, 2018: Scheduled Surgery No. 3 (with the possibility of being sooner if there is an opening in the hospital’s schedule); to be performed by Dr. Mel Kurtulus at the Scripps La Jolla Hospital.

This blog wouldn’t exist without the events that took place on June 30, 2014.

I wouldn’t be seeking answers.  Wouldn’t be honoring my body.  Wouldn’t be connecting with others.

Our Bloomin’ Uterus support group wouldn’t exist.

There would be no annual walks or monthly get-togethers.

I would have no idea about the other women who suffer with me.

No camaraderie.

No support.

 I would still be alone, thinking my pain was normal and that I was weak.

And now I know that I am none of those things.

I am surrounded by Sisters and family.  Warriors!  Our pain is anything but normal.  And none of us are weak.

My life has been made better by being told I have a chronic, incurable illness.  And I have met some incredibly strong people because of it.  May we continue to hold each other high as we make this Journey together.  It’s not easy.  But we have each other.

So, celebrate today with me.

 

Feel Good Fridays

 

Good morning! Can you believe another week has already come and gone?  June is OVER!  What the heck?  I feel like June just started yesterday!

So, it’s Friday. And you know the drill!  Today’s quote is all about acknowledging whatever fears or sorrows you may have and giving yourself a great big hug.

“She held herself until the sobs of the child inside subsided entirely. I love you, she told herself. It will all be okay.” 
― H. Raven RoseShadow Selves: Double Happiness

Whatever it may be that crushes you, hang in there.  It will all be okay.  And if you need it, reach out for some help for those around you.

Have a wonderful weekend.  Love, Lisa.